His promises never fail

I never really wanted to be a singer. When I was about 13/14 I decided my life ambition was to be a children's tv presenter, and wow was I excited! I remember being in school and coming up with some absolutely classic names for shows I could run, one of which included a lovely little show entitled "Kates Shed"...what kid wouldn't want to enter my funky shed of musical whimsey and fun! I had it all planned out. The BBC do casting every 4 years, and I was ready to turn 21 and head for my audition at CBeebies. Sitting here now as a 21 year old missionary, having likely missed the auditions, it's clear to see God had a different idea about my future.

I've been writing songs for as long as I've been singing, and I can safely say that both of those traits have gotten better over time. When I was 16 I wrote a song called "Hey", and that was the first time I realised "Hey (no pun intended), I'm pretty good at this"! I started busking in Liverpool One and not long after that I was approached by this guy who owned a management company. Long story short, after a year of prayerful consideration, I signed with the management company. I really felt like God had told me this is what I would do, this is why He created me. I was supposed to sing! But unfortunately it wasn't going to be all that easy...

After having some incredible experiences living the dream, recording my music in Parr Street Studios, in the same rooms as Coldplay, Paolo Nutini, Rhianna and Justin Bieber (to name a few) I started to realise that my voice wasn't quite as strong as it used to be...in fact it wasn't at all as strong as it used to be! Not only was I struggling to hit notes with strength, but making it through a full conversation without feeling my vocal cords stretch became a distant memory. I decided I had to get this checked out, and was eventually referred to the ear, nose and throat clinic. After a little look we discovered that my vocal folds had been almost completely eroded by access acid in my body...basically it wasn't good! I remember thinking "why would God finally tell me that this is what I would do and then let this happen to me?". I think that was the point that I let the dream go...

Over 2017/18 I went to vocal therapy and had singing lessons to correct my dodgy throat, but my journey with my management company wasn't going as I'd hoped. Yes I was getting plenty of experience and having a great time, but I was starting to think maybe I had heard God wrong after all; maybe He hadn't called me to be a singer, after all, if I was going to get there it was going to be this way right?

I left my company and I went to do my DTS with YWAM, and I haven't for a second regretted it, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't mad at God. How could He promise me my dream and then watch it fall like that? We had spent week 7 learning about the fear of the Lord, and wow what a week it was! At the end of the week we were in a time of worship, and people were praying for each other and sharing words God had given them for their piers. As I was singing, a friend approached me and gave me a word from God. "You feel like God gave you a dream and then He took it away." ...yikes. I knew instantly what that was about. "He wants you to know, that the dream is not gone. He hasn't taken it away, He is simply refining it so that it's ready for you to step into in His right timing." Honestly I was shocked, and also a little disappointed in myself! I had just spent a week learning all about the fear of the Lord, understanding who God is and what it means to fear Him. One of the biggest things God taught me that week was that to dear Him is to trust Him, even in spite of what I can see. I realised very quickly that God's promises to us never fail...they may just look a little different than we thought!

So there it is, I'm going to sing for Jesus. I know this because this is what He has promised to me, and His promises have never failed and will never fail. I don't know how it'll look, I don't even know what scale it'll be on, but I do know that He is worthy of my trust and that He will reveal it all to me in His own timing. The promises of the Lord never fail, so don't put down the dream He gave you just because you can't see the whole picture!

God has got you and your dream in His hands.

His promises never fail.